Listen it’s great to be focused on your running goals. Driven to show up for every tempo run, hit your track paces and oh yes work those hips…but running just isn’t that serious! Hence, my love of some funny running quotes.
99% of us aren’t aiming to be elite runners. We chose this sport because it offered us something more.
Time to think.
And running should be fun!!!
Which is why every once in awhile I have to poke fun at us with things like lies runners love telling or ways to spot a runner on Instagram.
63 Funny Running Quotes
Today let’s giggle our way through some funny running quotes and funny motivational running quotes.
Keep them in mind to make you smile during that next hard effort. Science shows that smiling really will reduce your perceived effort!
One of the most popular funny running quotes is “if you see me collapse, pause my Garmin. Which made me wonder, what other things are out there that I haven’t yet seen? A brain in the midst of marathon training can use all the humor available!
Previously I’ve shared with you the best funny running memes. But running quotes take some digging to come up with, partially because people still like to call it jogging. Partially because we all take commitment to getting up a 5AM just a wee bit too seriously.
Funny Marathon Running Quotes
Without further ado let’s start with some thoughts for us long distance runners.
“Every pizza is a personal pizza if you’re marathon training.”
“If you feel bad at 10 miles, you’re in trouble. If you feel bad at 20 miles, you’re normal. If you don’t feel bad at 26 miles, you’re abnormal.”
– Rob de Castella
The most difficult thing about a marathon? Working into every conversation for the next year.
“How do you know if someone ran a marathon? Don’t worry, they’ll tell you.”
– Jimmy Fallon
Any idiot can run, it takes as a special kind of idiot to run a marathon.
“Running a marathon takes balls, other sports just play with them.”
“If you start to feel good during an ultra, don’t worry, you will get over it.”
– Gene Thibeault
“If God invented marathons to keep people from doing anything more stupid, the triathlon must have taken him completely by surprise.” – PZ Pearce
“Marathon runners with bad shoes suffer the agony of de feet.”
Never mess with a woman who runs 26.2 miles for fun.
“No doubt a brain and some shoes are essential for marathon success. Although if it comes down to a choice, pick the shoes. More people finish marathons with no brains than with no shoes.”
Step one to running a marathon: You run. There is no step two.”
— Barney Stinson (How I Met Your Mother)
“I like all of the things about running like eating carbs, being cheered on, and wearing comfortable shoes.”
We really do have the best shoes, and pizza Friday for long runs is required!
When you said “friends with benefits” I assumed you owned a running store.
Funny Runner Quotes (Things Runners Understand)
Do you ever wonder if we’re funny while running? Or does it come on us later when we’re delirious or fully recovered? I don’t know, but we do say some amusing things.
“Remember, the second most important thing to choose the right shoe is choosing the left one.
– Unknown Runner
Some people don’t have the guts for distance racing. The polite term for them is sprinters.
The hardest part of summer running is to stop sweating AFTER you shower.
“They say good things take time, that’s why I run slow.”
If you’re on the treadmill next to me, the answer is yes, we are racing.
For someone who runs all the time, I still have the ability to make it look like it’s the first time I ever tried.
That awkward moment when you’re wearing Nike… And you just can’t do it.
Our sport is your sports punishment.
Oh man who doesn’t feel that one!!! I mean it’s why I didn’t like running for a long time…still now it’s funny.
No one ever drowned in sweat.
Logically true, but I’m pretty sure I’ve tried on a number of marathon runs in Miami.
I run because punching people is frowned upon.
A classic really. And true.
“If the hill has its own name, then it’s probably a pretty tough hill.”
— Marty Stern
“There are many challenges to long distance running, but one of the greatest is the question of where to put one’s house keys.”
— Gabrielle Zevin
“Don’t be a jogger, they’re the one’s who find dead bodies.”
– Amanda Brooks, yours truly. I stand by this statement. All you have to do is read any newspaper!
“I’ve got 99 problems, so I went on a run to ignore them all.” – Unknown
It’s not bragging when I tell you how many miles I ran today. It’s so you don’t judge when I devour the whole bag of chips.
Runner’s logic: I’m too tired to work. I should go run.
You never realize how long a minute is until you’ve run on treadmill.
“I’ll quit running when I’m dead, which feels like it will probably be in about another mile or two.”
— Tom Anderson
Run slow, get the most out of your entry fee.
A good run is like a cup of coffee. I’m much nicer after I’ve had one.
“I love running cross country. On a track, I feel like a hamster.”
— Robin Williams
Funny Motivational Running Quotes
When you still need a little kick in the pants, but you’d like it with a side of laughter. Let’s see if these help.
“Run like hell and get the agony over with.”
— Clarence DeMar
I plan on having such an epic run, Morgan Freeman should narrate it.
“Good things come slow – especially in distance running.”
– Bill Dellinger
“Jogging is very beneficial. It’s good for your legs and your feet. It’s also very good for the ground. It makes it feel needed.”
— Charles M. Schultz
Running is not a hobby, it’s a post apocalyptic skill.
– Zombie runners.
Joggers bounce up and down and stop lights. Runners just stand there looking pissed.
“Laughter is inner jogging.”
— Norman Cousins
“We are all runners, some just run faster than others. I never met a fake runner.”
– Bart Yasso
Twenty miles means I’ll run this 5 mile loop four times and I’m already halfway through the first time, so I’m basically only running 5 miles.
– Runner Logic, we’ve all used it.
Don’t worry, toenails are overrated.
“Run. Because zombies will eat the untrained ones first.”
– From the Zombie Apocalypse Survival Guide
“After all, if you run far enough, no one can catch you.”
– VE Schwab
Run like Ryan Gosling is waiting for you at the finish line. With a puppy.
You know you’re a runner when you get jealous driving by someone running.
Psychos: Let’s wake up really early and go for a run.
– It’s true, we’re weird.
We do so love our non-running friends for the support. But sometimes ya gotta chuckle at their 5K marathon and other times they continue to give us jogging quotes (they must not understand the dead body thing.
In fact, checkout my jogging vs running post to help them out.
“I never run with scissors. Those last two words were unnecessary.”
“It’s unnatural for people to run around the city streets unless they are thieves or victims. It makes people nervous to see someone running. I know that when I see someone running on my street, my instincts tell me to let the dog go after him.”
— Mike Royko
“My doctor told me that jogging could add years to my life. I think he was right. I feel ten years older already.”
— Milton Berle
“The trouble with jogging is that, by the time you realize you’re not in shape for it, it’s too far to walk back.”
— Franklin P. Jones
“I don’t believe in jogging. It extends your life – but by exactly the amount of time you spend jogging.”
— Marshall Brickman
“Oh yes I will work out today. I will work out a way to avoid running for a stupid cause.”
– Stanley from The Office
“When I see them all running like that, with their things bouncing around in their shorts, I always picture them naked, even if I don’t want to. All i see is pork swords.”
I’m horizontal running!!
A genius move from Pitch Perfect.
“I go running when I have to. Like when the ice cream truck is doing sixty.”
— Wendy Liebman
“We can’t all be heroes because someone has to sit on the curb and clap as they go by.”
— Will Rogers
“I consider my refusal to run today as resistance training.”
– Unknown Runner
Kevin Hart on what makes running funny:
Watching other people (he’s right…I assume people laugh at me).
“I would talk about the different running strides that you see. That makes me laugh. You have the ultimate runner whose stride is almost the stride of a gazelle—it’s so fluid. Like wow, look at that guy’s stride, look at the woman’s stride.
Then you have the non-breather—the person that can’t breathe [does a breathing demonstration]. Then you have the run-walker who thinks they’re running, but it’s just walking at a fast pace.
That’s what makes me laugh.
Funny Running Shirts
I’d say most of these we’ve all seen on a t-shirt or a great marathon race sign! So they can’t be left out of the mix. How funny they are debatable in some cases, but they are classics.
- It’s a hill. Get over it.
- This is a lot of work for a free banana.
- I run because I love my body. And carbs. I love carbs.
- Run? I thought they said rum!
- Slow runners make faster runners look good. You’re welcome.
- If you can read this, I’m not last.
- You’re pace or mine?
- Life is short, running makes it feel longer.
- I like my morning run more than I like most people.
- Running sucks….the evil from my soul.
- If found on the ground, please drag over the finish line.
- Running late is my cardio.
- If you’re running with me, be prepared to walk.
Looking for more?
Have a great jogging quote that I’ve missed? Let me know!!!
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